Monday, May 26, 2014

BOOK NOTES: Why Men Marry Bitches - Chapter 5

Please refer to introductory comments and definitions of terms in Chapter 1 Notes


CHAPTER 5 - WANTED:  JOE PAYCHECK

Why Financial Independence makes you Desirable as a Wife

 

51)  Relationship Principle 51:  When he's dating you, he'll constantly be on guard and watching to discern, "Does she like me for who I am? Or for what I can provide?"


52)  Relationship Principle 52:  When a man sees you are focused on your own dreams or on elevating yourself, he feels safer marrying you because he doesn't worry about what you'll be trying to take away from him.

 

-"Competence is the thing that is most attractive" - Will Smith


53)  Relationship Principle 53:  Men don't judge how much money you have.  They notice how you budget what you do have.


54)  Relationship Principle 54:  Men admire women who want to elevate themselves and pull themselves up by their own bootstraps, and fear women who are social climbers at a man's expense. 

 

- "Women are socialized to believe that they have a shelf life, sexually.  When I [Sherry Argov] spoke with men I was surprised to hear most men say that this was a myth.  If a woman takes care of herself, she can be sexy in her thirties, forties, fifties, and beyond. There is no "shelf life" for marriage."

- According to men, what makes a woman less desirable is the insecurity surrounding her sexuality, not the lack of it. Or, when a woman thinks the only thing she has to offer is sex...If that's all she has to offer, if she isn't competent, spicy, and independent, that's what will make her less desirable.

- The woman who can get up and leave at any time is the one who can put him in check.


55)  Relationship Principle 55:  He doesn't want to marry a helpless little girl whom he will have to take care of.

 

- When he sees that a woman can make good decisions in her own life, he will instantly feel closer to her.  That's the woman he'll take with him to pick out a starter home, new carpet, and new furniture.  She becomes an asset.


56)  Relationship Principle 56:  For a man, the words "respect" and "trust" are interchangeable.  If he doesn't respect you, he will not trust you.  And without trust, he will always keep you at arm's length.


"There are two things people want more than sex and money...recognition and praise."


57)  Relationship Principle 57:  When he gives you something, always acknowledge the kindness behind the gesture, not the material item itself.  Just like women can't get too many compliments, a man can't get too much appreciation for his contribution.


58)  Relationship Principle 58:  A man's favorite word is appreciate. He wants more than anything to feel revered, and valued by a woman.   When she's appreciative, it motivates him to give her the world.


59)  Relationship Principle 59:  A man will not be thinking about how much he spends on you if he believes you could be "the one."  In the beginning, he will be happy to pick up the tab.


60)  Relationship Principle 60:  A man who is financially comfortable but still very stingy doesn't want to give--anything. He won't want to be inconvenienced with his time, with sharing a dresser--much less a home or a life together.


61)  Relationship Principle 61:  When you move into someone else's place, you don't just give up your personal space and belongings.   More important, nearly always you also lose your feeling of independence.


62)  Relationship Principle 62:  If marriage is extremely important to you and you are ready to set a wedding date, don't move in unless you have a ring and a date.


"Whenever I [Sherry Argov] spoke with men about what they were looking for in a wife...what I heard time and time again was, 'I want someone I can trust and count on'."


63)  Relationship Principle 63:  The biggest turn-on for a man is knowing that he is in love with a woman he can really count on, who will really be there for him. 

 

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